I've had my feelings hurt a few times over these ten years. You start to get to know people through the comments they leave and reading their blogs, and you think they're your REAL friends. That is until they dump you. At least that's what it feels like. I won't get into too much detail with that part.
And you know something else I've noticed? When life gets a little busy or you just don't feel up to commenting and making your usual rounds reading blogs, their commenting completely stops. That's when you realize they only comment so that you'll comment back on THEIR blog. It becomes obvious over time, if you pay attention, who is genuine and who is not. You can tell who really enjoys reading and feels connected and who is just commenting for their own selfish reasons.
Although I do enjoy every comment (I'm human after all!), my favorite comments are those from people who don't have blogs. They have no ulterior motives. They don't want anything in return. They just enjoy what you post and tell you so and sometimes even share a little bit about themselves. They see something in your writing that they like. They like YOU, or at least the bits of you that you let everyone see. They're interested in what you share -- what your house looks like, what you're doing that day or week, what your little happinesses and disappointments are, what you're crocheting, what you're cooking, and even what makes you sad or boiling mad. And most likely, the people who enjoy reading the most, never or rarely comment, and that's just fine by me. In fact, that's the most perfect reader of all in my mind.
Let's just say I'm sick of having fake "friends." Having a fake family was more than enough for me, and I finally got wise and left them all far behind me. I don't need or want to replace them with more fake people. I don't want to get my validation from comments. I don't want validation at all. I just want to be me.
So what I'm doing is closing the comment section of my blog permanently. Then I can stop focusing on comments and who's saying what (and most importantly, WHY), and just enjoy laying parts of my life out on paper...virtual paper that is. I think I'll feel better about the whole thing.
Comments are closed permanently. So now all you fake people can be relieved. That's one less comment you have to make just to get your own. And now I can comment freely where and when I want to knowing I'm doing it because I want to and not because I feel obligated.
That's what's been bugging me. I'm FREE!
(Actually, no I won't.)