A lot of different things can set it off. Today it was a picture of someone's grandson all dressed up in a suit and smiling for the camera, a front tooth missing. I had already gone on to something else when it suddenly came upon me.
Just when I think I have it sufficiently stuffed down far enough that it can't escape, something brings it all back up again. I guess it always will. You can't keep love tucked far enough away. It will always rise to the top. I stuff it back down...stuff, stuff, stuff, and seal it up again with anger, guilt, and hurt. Please, can't it just be enough already?
I'll go take a mild sedative and try to calm down. A shot of whiskey sure would be good right about now. I will manage to gather myself in a few minutes and go about my day as if I'm just like everybody else. But every time I pass a mirror, I'll see the puffy eyes, a reminder of where I let myself go this morning. I'll have a slight headache the rest of the day. I promise myself I won't let it happen again. I straighten my back. My mouth sets in a straight line. My heart becomes cold again. I can go on. Until the next time.