Saturday, January 03, 2015

Insert Title Here

I couldn't think of a title.
I was tired of thinking.


I was surprised to see the sun streaming through the back windows when I emerged from my cave bedroom after a teeny-weeny nap. We haven't seen it in several days now.


The dogs were mighty happy to see it. They're all out there now like a bunch of hillbillies lounging on the porch and soaking it up.  (Except Eli who will not stay outside for one minute longer than he has to to get his business done.)


Last night I just happened to have the TV on CNN when I saw that they had another CNN Special of Sole Survivor on last night. Y'all remember when I watched the first episode a couple of weeks ago about those people who were sole survivors of their plane crash? I guess there's going to be a series of them because it's on next Thursday again. The one I watched last night had three different people who were the lone survivors of their plane crash, but it focused mostly on the aftermath and them dealing with "survivor's guilt." I love to watch shows like this.

Anyway, so I was crocheting on that doily all during the show, and I finished my round just before the show ended, but it was WRONG! 


Can you hear that ripping sound? Riiiiiiipp! GAH.
I got all mad and threw my hook on the table...
And then I looked up and saw the pilot on the TV with only one leg, burn scars all over him, and living with horrific guilt about every single person on his plane dying except himself, who was flying the plane, and I realized it wasn't that big of a deal that I'd have to crochet that round all over again. Reality check, big-time. I don't believe you can or should take any situation and compare it something more awful and make it all better, but in this case, I can. 

What am I, a preacher all of the sudden?

But in the end, I've decided I don't really like it anyway so I'm ripping the whole thing out. It's gone. Over with. Kaput. I want to make something else.

So I wasted a good hour or two surfing around the Innernets looking for rosy, flowery doily patterns, and I think I found one or five. We'll see how it goes.


I got really sick of seeing those big long stalks in my kitchen window.
They bugged me.
I hope I didn't murder them, but they seem fine today.
It's less to deal with as the stalks die off naturally and I can put the bulbs away.

 Aww! A doggie sweater!


That red sweater belonged to an old friend of mine, Nicki, shown with me in the picture above. (If you look closely, you can see Kitty sitting at the door looking out...hee.) This picture was taken in the mid-'90s. 

Nicki died unexpectedly in 1998 while staying at a kennel when we were on a trip to San Antonio. Oh my lord, the drama! The people at the kennel didn't even know she was dead until we came to pick her up! It was awful. I forced my way through the door to the back where she was, them trying to keep me out all the way, but I found her. It was an indoor/outdoor kennel where each dog's area was inside and outside. They could come inside to the air conditioning and also go through a small door to the outside. I crawled on my hands and knees through the opening to get to her outside where she was lying. I'll leave the rest of the details out. 

I remember saying to the Captain in the car on the way to pick her up, "I can't wait to see her! Wouldn't it be an awful guilt-trip if she was dead?" I still have no idea why I said that, except maybe on some level I knew. After I said that, the silence and anticipation was palpable. I was out of the car before he put it in Park.

Nicki was the best dog I've ever had -- not to take away anything from the ones I've had since then or have now, but she was just different. She could see through to my soul and vice-versa. We were soul mates, for sure. Some of you might think that's silly to say about a dog, but whatever. You can think what you want. I know what I know.

ANYWAY!  My point was...I've been saving that sweater of hers for years. It's just been hanging in the closet. Every now and then I'd go in there and look at it because some of her hairs were still on it. I just liked having that little part of her. But I took it out a few nights ago and put it on Eli because we had just had him shaved and he was cold.

In time, I guess we can let things go. But I do think it has to be in your own time, not someone else's.

Ho-hum. What the hell? Am I still preaching? I got lost in that story and rambled. So sorry. I guess if I was really sorry, I'd delete it all, but I'm not THAT sorry. No deleting here. It's a rule.

 

One more day until the giveaway...


9 comments:

  1. I loved your soleful post today. It brought forth a few tears along with similar memories for me. Love to you

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  2. Some things do make you think don't they? Perspective is interesting. I have had many dogs that I have loved with everything I have, but my Chloe baby that I have now is the one that knows me the best. I love this dog and she loves me. You're right. It can't be put into words that explain it.
    I'm sorry for what you had to go through.
    Blessings,
    Betsy

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  3. I love the dog! and your surroundings, de dollie is also nice, myself are now crocheting again, but always seem to forget something...wish you a blessed 2015...loves soraya

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  4. I have two titles for you Pammy Sue. First one: I Have Your Windchime's Twin
    Second one: I'm Not A Preacher
    I'm sorry about your dog! I love my dog and don't know how I would react if something happened to him.

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  5. Okay not to be morbid but did you her about the seven year old who survived the small plane crash and walked a mile to get help, I think it happened last night. How horrible her whole family dies.
    Sending you a doggy hug,
    Meredith

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  6. What a lovely reminder of a much loved pet. I'm sure Eli will enjoy being nice and warm in Nicky's coat. That's a nice pic of you and your special furbaby. xox

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  7. I've grown up with animals and understand how they become a family but never really understood till my guys came into my life. I tear up at even a though of not seeing their flat faces one day...uggggggggg! ok...HAPPY THOUGHTS! HAPPY THOUGHTS! xoxoxoxo

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  8. What a sad story! My Huck had an eye into my soul and my husband's too. HE was the BEST dog we ever have had the pleasure to live with....

    Rambling is fine! That's what we are hear for....
    to listen, to read, to relate!

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  9. I know what you mean about the doggy soul mate. My Allie is my doggie soul mate, even though we don't always get along :-)

    Love reading your posts!!

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