That’ll get your attention, won’t it? Hee-hee.
But first, let’s push that horrible picture from yesterday down the page a bit, shall we? Yes, that’s much better!
I’m terrified of getting behind on the Doily Crochet-Along for some reason. The pressure! So I’m actually a couple of rows ahead of where I should be. I’m sitting here having a COW because now I can see a little tiny error four rows in. DAMMIT! I am not going back. I’m just not. No way, no how. It’ll drive me crazy, but I’m not.
So yesterday when I was just fixing to lay down for that nap after the soy sauce incident (see previous post)…
I decided to check the front porch and make sure the postman hadn’t left me a package I needed to bring inside. I opened the front door and…
Eli shot out and ran as fast as he could down the street. GAH! So I took a leftover piece of fish from the fridge (gross) and went outside to sit on the steps in my front yard. He’ll usually come back and walk up to me when I sit there, especially if I have a tasty treat.
So I’m sitting there, bra-less, boobs-a-floppin’ and damn near in my pajamas (quite attractive), and I can see him several houses down sniffing and snooping and having a grand old time ignoring my pleas. And then…OF COURSE, my next-door neighbors drive up in their car. What the hell are they doing home on a Monday afternoon? Doesn’t anybody work anymore? The woman and the child go inside, but the man, OF COURSE, starts walking towards me. I’m trying to hide the fact that I have no bra on by keeping my arms in front of me. There’s nothing I can do about my hair which is plastered to my head with sweat from mopping the soy sauce up for the last 30 minutes.
HIM: “What are you doing out here, Pam?”
ME: “Waiting for my dog to come back. He’ll come back in a minute if he sees me sitting here.”
HIM: “Oh, I’ll go get him!”
ME: “No, he’ll just run farther away. He’ll come back in a minute.” (Just please go away because my boobs are-a-floppin’ and I look like total hell!)
HIM: “I’ll just sneak around him and chase him back this way! It’s no problem!” (No! Go away, DAMMIT!)
And off he runs to chase my dog down. He finally nabs him and starts walking back up the street towards me. OMG! I panic because I cannot stand up in this pajama outfit and take my dog from him, exposing my flopping, bra-less-ness! So I get up and run inside and put a coat on before he gets to my house. I know he thinks I’m totally weird for running inside like that and putting on a coat, but what was I to do? (Oh, I don’t know, Pam…maybe not go outside like that in the first place? DUH.)