Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Boobs-a-Floppin’

That’ll get your attention, won’t it?  Hee-hee.

But first, let’s push that horrible picture from yesterday down the page a bit, shall we?  Yes, that’s much better!

DSCF2557

I’m terrified of getting behind on the Doily Crochet-Along for some reason.  The pressure!  So I’m actually a couple of rows ahead of where I should be.  I’m sitting here having a COW because now I can see a little tiny error four rows in.  DAMMIT!  I am not going back.  I’m just not.  No way, no how.  It’ll drive me crazy, but I’m not.

So yesterday when I was just fixing to lay down for that nap after the soy sauce incident (see previous post)…

I decided to check the front porch and make sure the postman hadn’t left me a package I needed to bring inside.  I opened the front door and…

Eli shot out and ran as fast as he could down the street.  GAH!  So I took a leftover piece of fish from the fridge (gross) and went outside to sit on the steps in my front yard.   He’ll usually come back and walk up to me when I sit there, especially if I have a tasty treat.

So I’m sitting there, bra-less, boobs-a-floppin’ and damn near in my pajamas (quite attractive), and I can see him several houses down sniffing and snooping and having a grand old time ignoring my pleas.  And then…OF COURSE, my next-door neighbors drive up in their car.  What the hell are they doing home on a Monday afternoon?  Doesn’t anybody work anymore?  The woman and the child go inside, but the man, OF COURSE, starts walking towards me.  I’m trying to hide the fact that I have no bra on by keeping my arms in front of me.  There’s nothing I can do about my hair which is plastered to my head with sweat from mopping the soy sauce up for the last 30 minutes.

HIM:  “What are you doing out here, Pam?”

ME:  “Waiting for my dog to come back.  He’ll come back in a minute if he sees me sitting here.”

HIM:  “Oh, I’ll go get him!”

ME:  “No, he’ll just run farther away.  He’ll come back in a minute.”  (Just please go away because my boobs are-a-floppin’ and I look like total hell!)

HIM:  “I’ll just sneak around him and chase him back this way!  It’s no problem!”  (No!  Go away, DAMMIT!)

And off he runs to chase my dog down.  He finally nabs him and starts walking back up the street towards me.  OMG!  I panic because I cannot stand up in this pajama outfit and take my dog from him, exposing my flopping, bra-less-ness!  So I get up and run inside and put a coat on before he gets to my house.  I know he thinks I’m totally weird for running inside like that and putting on a coat, but what was I to do?  (Oh, I don’t know, Pam…maybe not go outside like that in the first place?  DUH.)

22 comments:

  1. OMG Your so funny! When you said boobs a flopping I thought your meant your doily looks like a boob! It has the dark center like a boob. Funny story..you crack me up. Good for you about the error..I also found and error and ripped back to row 5 not once but twice! Grrrr

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  2. You are just too funny! I love reading what you get up to everyday. :)

    Your doily is so pretty. I love the colors.

    Wishing you a lovely day.

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  3. First, I don't see one mistake. Should I go get my glasses. Leave it alone, sweetie.

    Second, was there even a package.

    And lastly, I did enjoy this tale and needed a good bellie achen' laugh right about now.

    The ice storm last night was so bad we lost all T.V. reception. Scott was none the too thrill to be out there before work this morning knockn' the ice off the dish.

    Will catch up more later.

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  4. Too funny! My own mother has a story where she got locked out of the house in only her baby doll pjs. OMG.. Can't imagine THAT!!.. Love this new doily CAL, and am sorry I'm only just seeing it for the first time. Maybe I can grab my crochet thread and catch up? I'll see what I can do. ~tina

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  5. These are the little snippets of live that add spice, excitement - and entertainment to an otherwise, ordinary day LOL I'm glad I'm not the only one that panics when chasing a pet...

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  6. Ha ha ha! I've been there! I swear, when I have makeup on and my hair looks good and I'm dressed, no one drops by. That only happens when I am not dressed properly and look terrible.

    Now...about the soy sauce stains in your grout. You can also try Clorox bleach and water (more bleach than water and don't bother with any other brand). If that doesn't do it, you can go to Home Depot and get their grout cleaner.

    Be sure and get a grout "sealer" too. You need to seal your grout at least twice a year to protect it from staining.

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  7. OMG Pammy Sue I am still laughing.. thats my nightmare ,,,, I also especially at home at nite and in the AM I run braless.. more comfy that way, I have nightmares about something like what happend to you happening to me, so I guess I will wait from now on until just bedtime before I remove the unmentionable. If it happend to you it can to me.
    I love the doily and I sure can't see a mistake either. Leave it alone.. Enjoy the rest of the day..
    Hugs from Still South Texas..Birgit

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  8. Let's say it has been a crappy day here but I check into your blog you make my day that little rip he just likes getting mommy mad. That always happen when your not at your best someone always shows up and there is no where to hide. Your doily is very pretty love the color. I have the same dropping things on the floor many times of the day it is frustrating to say the least. I always said I ought throw every thing on the floor and sit down there too I would not have far to pick it up. Well my friend better days will come your way. Take care think of you often.

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  9. I thought I might make some doilies for my daughter's room some day. Purple and pink ones... to go on her pretty dresser.

    I kept looking at your doily and couldn't see a flopping boob in it... but after reading your post... I had to chuckle...

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  10. once again, you have rescued me from a self pity evening with a laugh I well needed!
    I thought I was the only one that went around boobs a flapping, in my neighborhood. I scared the HELL out of a man neighbor once... same senerio but I completely had the jammies on and no coat or rope chasing a dog! I love you Boob flopping sister!

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  11. Un-com-fort-able.....hehehe

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  12. OMG Pam, that one had me ROLFMAO!! Sounds just like something that might happen to me! Did you have a package?

    Hugs XX
    Barbara

    Oh, the doily looks great, leave it alone.

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  13. The doily looking good! I don't think the error will ever be seen, my other one has an error and I did leave it. Now ... your story ... priceless and have to say hilarious.

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  14. I needed a good laugh today. Thanks..........It seems my NEW neighbor always catches me with no bra last summer. He lives across our creek. So he dosn't see much. At least I hope not.
    Doily is so pretty.

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  15. BTW...He knew ....Guys know those things...Thats what my Assistant said

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  16. Pammy that's a hilarious story. You gave me a good laugh. I am still smiling.

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  17. Tee, hee, hee, hee. Geez, I wanted to comment earlier as I laughed out loud but my DH came to work with me today and so I had to WORK plus, I took the MLK day off and it was like a Monday for me...anywho...I read this one first and then looked down at yesterday's post and I'm so glad that I knew it was soy sauce and not blood for heaven's sake. Don't ya love plastic bottles? Try oxyclean on it for sure and now about the neighbor, gosh I feel for ya. Awkward situations like that are well, awkward and embarrassing but you pulled it off and he didn't get any free peeks.

    I can't see any mistakes in your doily and it sure is pretty!

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  18. Oh my gosh, don't you love days like that! And neighbors like that! And dogs like that!!! And boobs like that!!! I hear ya sister!

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  19. Pammy Sue - I told you to just go to bed! Hilarious story. Just the thing we needed on this cold freezing rain morning here in Indiana.

    Gotta love those dogs, huh?

    Cindy Bee

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  20. Don't you hate it when the dog takes off?

    Whenever our dog (we just have cats now) used to take off, it was the same thing as yours. If you run after them, they take off.

    Wouldn't you know it the neighbor would catch him? :/

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  21. Now I can make it thru the day! Great laughter......thanks. I found your blog thru my friend Janis. I will ...for sure be back.
    Brooke

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  22. I have tears in my eyes and can't stop laughing at this. I can't hardly type......oh my stomach hurts. lmao

    see....this is why i live in the country in the woods where no one can see the stupid shit i do. lol

    i love ya....thanks for the laugh...i very much needed it this morning. damn dog........lmao damn helpful neighbors....lmao

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