I think I had a bad case of diet rage last night...
It's about 7:30 p.m. at The Big Walmart:
ME: Do you know what sounds good?
HIM: No, what?
ME: A rootbeer float. (We are passing the ice cream aisle)
HIM: Yes, that does sound good. But just wait and we'll go get one tomorrow.
ME: (I say nothing)
Later in the car on the way home:
ME: I bet Baskin Robbins has rootbeer floats.
HIM: Yes, I imagine they do. But let's just wait and we'll get one tomorrow.
ME: I know what you're doing! You're just trying to delay it so maybe I won't get one! You know I won't want to leave the house again tomorrow!
HIM: (Mistake) But you are on a diet!
ME: (Silence...staring out the passenger side window)
Approximately 5 minutes passes in silence.
HIM: (Another Mistake) Are you giving me the silent treatment now because I said that?
ME: Yes, I am! I am 48 years old, and I DO NOT need to be reminded when I am on a damn diet! I know I'm on a diet, but I want a rootbeer float anyway! And if I want a rootbeer float, I can have one! I am nearly 50 years old, for god's sake!
HIM: You were just 48 a second ago.
ME: You are being a smartass now! That IS nearly 50! And it sounds better in this case!
HIM: How am I suppose to support you when you are on a diet then?
ME: I don't know, but NOT BY TELLING ME I CAN'T HAVE SOMETHING!
Silence the rest of the way to Baskin Robbins. Barnaby parks and gets out...
ME: Are you going to have one?
ME: Now you are just being smug because you can resist one and I can't!
HIM: (Sighs in exasperation and walks inside)
In the car on the way home...
ME: Do you want a bite?
HIM: No, not at all.
ME: (Mockingly) Not at all. I am better than you because I don't even want a bite. Not just no, but no, NOT AT ALL!
HIM: God! You are impossible.
(But he WAS just being smug, I know it. And that was the best rootbeer float I've ever had!)