Look at the big hunk of hair I just "accidentally" cut off the top of my head!! I actually screamed when I did it. And then I laughed as I stood in front of the mirror and looked at it in my hand.
You see, I had the scissors out first, and then I took out the thinning shears to thin out the hair on top of my head so that it would have more volume. I have very thin, limp hair. The thinning shears work great to make my hair stand up a little and have more body up there...EXCEPT WHEN YOU INADVERTENTLY PICK UP THE SCISSORS INSTEAD AND TAKE A BIG WHACK AT IT! Gah!
Do you know how long I've worked and waited for my hair to get some length? Do you? DO YOU?
And I can't go stress-eat anything because I'm on this damn diet!
AND -- I have a headache due to lack of caffeine!
AND AND -- I just generally feel like shit! (Here's Too Much Information For Ya: I think something is wrong with my urethra! It hurts! More on that another time, maybe...but probably not. Are you horrified that I just said that? Do women even have a urethra? I think they do. But if they don't, you know what I mean anyway.)
AND AND AND -- My toofie is bugging the crap out of me and I need to go to the dentist soon!
AND AND AND AND, NOW I have a giant bald spot because I'm an idiot and don't pay attention to anything!