1. I feel like crap.
2. I look like crap.
3. My computer is running so slow, it's just crap.
4. I went for a crappy walk around the crappy block to hopefully lift my crappy spirits, but it didn't work.
5. I know things could be much worse, but I don't want to hear that crap.
6. Just plain crap.
7. Number 7 is the end of my crappy list.
8. Just for good measure....CRAP one more time.
Okay, here's the deal. I've been trying to do without the prescription pain meds and just take the muscle relaxer and over-the-counter Tylenol, but it just doesn't work. I'm afraid I will run out of the medicine that does work and the doctor won't refill it, and I'll just sit here and hurt from now on. The after-surgery instructions my doctor gave me say that I should cut out the pain medicine 3-4 DAYS after surgery and just use over-the-counter stuff. I feel like it will be 3-4 WEEKS before I am to the point where that might work. I also feel like everyone (whoever that is) will think I'm just being a baby or I'm a crack whore for pain medicine if I ask to refill it.
And the GUILT! Gah. I hate guilt. I am the Queen of Guilty Feelings. I bet I've apologized to anyone who will listen a thousand times. I'm sorry I'm inconveniencing you, I'm sorry I asked you to get me some water, I'm sorry I had to have surgery, I'm sorry I need pain medicine still, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Why do I do that? I know it's not my fault, but I feel the need to apologize.
I'm sorry, but I have to go now.