Sunday, December 28, 2008

My Crappy List

1. I feel like crap.

2. I look like crap.

3. My computer is running so slow, it's just crap.

4. I went for a crappy walk around the crappy block to hopefully lift my crappy spirits, but it didn't work.

5. I know things could be much worse, but I don't want to hear that crap.

6. Just plain crap.

7. Number 7 is the end of my crappy list.

8. Just for good measure....CRAP one more time.

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Okay, here's the deal. I've been trying to do without the prescription pain meds and just take the muscle relaxer and over-the-counter Tylenol, but it just doesn't work. I'm afraid I will run out of the medicine that does work and the doctor won't refill it, and I'll just sit here and hurt from now on. The after-surgery instructions my doctor gave me say that I should cut out the pain medicine 3-4 DAYS after surgery and just use over-the-counter stuff. I feel like it will be 3-4 WEEKS before I am to the point where that might work. I also feel like everyone (whoever that is) will think I'm just being a baby or I'm a crack whore for pain medicine if I ask to refill it.

And the GUILT! Gah. I hate guilt. I am the Queen of Guilty Feelings. I bet I've apologized to anyone who will listen a thousand times. I'm sorry I'm inconveniencing you, I'm sorry I asked you to get me some water, I'm sorry I had to have surgery, I'm sorry I need pain medicine still, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

Why do I do that? I know it's not my fault, but I feel the need to apologize.

I'm sorry, but I have to go now.

3 comments:

  1. You need not apologize to anyone (although I am not there to get crap from you~lol).
    Anyway, Crap is good. Especially when you have a better day following a crappy day.
    Continue to hang in there. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
    You continue to be in my prayers, I will pray for a crap~free day (=

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  2. Crap is kind of good, Boo boo. At least you FEEL something. The healing process is long, unfortunately. I know you don't want to hear that.... more crap.
    Call your doctor about the pain meds and the fact that the over-the-counter meds aren't working enough to make you at all comfortable. See what he says. It may be more crap, but at least you'll KNOW where he stands on the pain meds thing. Love you!

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  3. Oh yeah.... and try to stop saying you're sorry. Just say, "I need...." People love to know they are needed. When you are all better, you can hand out the "thank you's" and lay it on real thick!

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