Friday, November 30, 2007

Fun Friday

I'm all caught up on work today, so I'm enjoying a lazy day at home. I'm having entirely too much fun with myself. (Oh, stop. Get your mind out of the gutter.)


Let me show you...

First I did some leisurely surfing and reading of my favorite blogs and Websites. Then I took to baking. I made a Chocolate Bundt Cake, and yet another Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe. This one is for thin and crispy cookies. That's the way Barnaby likes them.

I'll be baking tomorrow too because we have a poker party to attend. I'm not sure what I'll be making just yet.

And then...

I found the funnest (most fun?) thing to play with, Girls! You absolutely must try it. It's too much fun, especially if you have several different pictures of yourself to play with. The picture of yourself you use can make all the difference in how the hair looks on you. The same hair looks completely different using a different picture. You use celebrity hairstyles and put them on your picture.
I suppose you men could do it too, but that might be a little weird for you. Oh, let loose and try it! Nobody will see!
My InStyle magazine this month had a full-page add about this feature on their Website. You'll have to register, but it was totally worth it if you ask me.
Here are a few of my favorite makeovers of me:
Gwen Stefani Hair (I look like a bank robber!)


Left: Kiera Knightly's Hair Right: Victoria Beckham's Hair

Left: Sharon Stone's Hair Right: Eva Mendez's Hair
Those were the only ones I printed. I had to print them and take a picture of the picture in order to post the them. There's no way to save them to your computer directly from their Website. That's why they're not that great.
My boyfriend, Shepard, got called into work early because of the Hillary Campaign Office Bomber Dude. I'm going to go watch him now. Poor thing. We had a late night!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

One Year Old Today

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
SAMMI !

French Dip

Before Shredding

Uh-oh. My ears are stopped up and my sinuses are slightly swollen. Or maybe I'm freaking out and imagining the sinus part. I hope it's just an allergy and not a cold coming on.

I made a roast in the crockpot today. Usually I can smell it pretty strongly, but I don't smell anything unless I go in the kitchen and get right on top of it. I smell limes but not roast. Hmpf.

Anywho...this is the recipe I used for the roast. It's been a favorite for a few years now.

French Dip Roast

Rump Roast (I think mine is usually 2-3 lbs)
2 cups of water
1/2 cup of soy sauce
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp dried rosemary (I use fresh)
black pepper

Dump everything in the crockpot and leave it on low at least 8 hours. I usually start mine out on high for a couple of hours and then turn it down because I'm usually at home all day. When it's done and falling apart when you pick it up, shred it with two forks and pour a little of the gravy over it to keep it moist. Save the rest of the "gravy" for serving with the roast.

We like it on flour tortillas, but you can serve it with French rolls or whatever you like and dip it in the gravy. Yum.
I'm going to eat dinner now. See ya.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Limes? Weird

I've been smelling limes since yesterday. WTF? As some of you know, and as I explained HERE, I've had some kind of weird phantom smell problem for the past few years. Most of the time I smell smoke. This is a new smell, though. I guess I should be glad I don't smell what most people who have this problem do, which is feces or rotting flesh. For an explanation of this phenomenon, you can read more HERE or Google "phantosmia" and you can read all you can stand.

I got upset and stressed yesterday afternoon, and it started just after that. Hmm. I've never noticed it coinciding with anything unusual or specific before.

I just wanted to write that down before it went away and I forgot. I'll be back later with a real post.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Cookies!

Here are the Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies with Chocolate Icing. They are fantastic. We like them refrigerated, but the recipe didn't say anything about storing them that way. They are soft and chewy and very rich. I still had my momma's cookie press so I used that to swirl on the icing. That's why they look all fancy. This recipe was a finalist in the Pillsbury Bake-Off one year but didn't win. I got the recipe HERE. (Mine are prettier!) Here's the recipe:

Peanut Butter Brownie Cookies w/Chocolate Frosting

1 (19.5-oz.) box Pillsbury® Brownie Classics Traditional Fudge Brownie Mix
1/4 cup butter or margarine, melted
4 oz. cream cheese, softened
1 egg
1 cup powdered sugar
1 cup creamy peanut butter
1/2 (16-oz.) can chocolate fudge ready-to-spread frosting

Heat oven to 350°F. In medium bowl, beat brownie mix, melted butter, cream cheese and egg 50 strokes with spoon until well blended (dough will be stiff and sticky).

With hands, roll tablespoonfuls of dough into balls and place 2 inches apart onto ungreased cookie sheet; press down lightly.

In small bowl, mix powdered sugar and peanut butter with spoon until mixture forms a ball. (Batter is very stiff so I gave up on using a spoon and just used my hands.) Roll rounded teaspoonfuls peanut butter mixture into balls and lightly press into center of each ball of chocolate dough.

Bake at 350° for 10 to 14 minutes or until edges are set. (I made the balls about the size of a walnut and baked them 11 minutes. I said balls, hee.) Cool at least 30 minutes and spread a thin layer of frosting over peanut butter portion of each cooled cookie.

As I said, I put mine in a plastic container with a lid and refrigerated. You do whatever you want.


Sammi

Just because she's cute. She's discovered she can stand on the couch in the living room and put her feet up on the counter like that and watch me do dishes. She's been doing that the last two days. The sink is just below that counter on this side. I taught her to shake hands yesterday in about 5 minutes, and she's doing it perfectly now. She's such a smarty pants.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Daring Nude

You'll be disappointed in reading this after that title. It is appropriate, but probably not the way you're hoping. I got your attention though, didn't I?

I did manage to get out of the house yesterday and go to Michael's and Ulta. After I stood staring at the yarn for about 25 minutes, picking out yarn and putting it in my cart, only to change my mind and take it out again and choose another color, I said screw it, and picked the purple yarn I wanted to begin with because purple is my favorite color, and decided to make the prayer shawl for myself. Dang, that was a long sentence.

Then I stood in Ulta for 20 minutes looking at lip liner. I was trying to find Rimmel Lip Liner in Daring Nude because it was the PERFECT color for me. So guess what? Evidently they don't make that color anymore, the bastards. Don't they know how hard it is to find the PERFECT color?? So I stood there staring at the Rimmel Lip Liner bins hoping that Daring Nude would magically appear before my eyes, but it never did.

So then I took the nearly-used-up Rimmel Lip Liner in Daring Nude out of my purse and marked on my hand with it to try and find another color that matched it. And then I got paranoid that they were going to think I was shoplifting lip liner if I put it back in my purse, so I walked to the front of the store to the counter before I put it back in my purse, because it's obvious I'm not stealing anything if I'm right up in front of everybody, and I put it back in my purse. Okay, weirdo.

I never did find the right color, but I found one that was close, bought it, along with two gray eye pencils to replace the one I had that magically disappeared, and left. You just know that when I get around to actually putting that lip liner on my lips, it will be a horrific shade of orange, don't you? Me too.

Dang, that was a long, boring story.

I came home and crocheted on that purple shawl for 3 1/2 hours and watched three TV shows in a row on the History Channel about Aliens and UFOs. When I finally took a moment to take a good look at my crochet work, it was all crooked, and I had miscounted stitches, and it was a mess. So I ripped it all out and rewound the yarn. I'll have to start over from scratch tonight. Bummer. Oh, and it's possible I have an alien implant in my leg.

I worked until about 12:45 today and then went to the bank and grocery store. I've got to go now and make dinner and some chocolate cookies with a peanut butter ball on top and chocolate icing. If they look good and taste good, I'll get a picture for you and share the recipe.

I don't really think I have an alien implant in my leg. I was just funin' ya.

That is all.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Holiday Weekend Continues

My plan to have a healthy eating day lasted less than one minute. I got up this morning and walked into the kitchen where the cow patty-size chocolate chip cookies that I made last night were, and promptly began eating one. Maybe I can recover and just pretend that didn't happen.

I spent all day yesterday in my pajamas sitting in front of the fire crocheting, and I loved every minute of it. I think I'll do the same today, except I think I'll take a shower first. Good idea, Miss Stinky Britches.

About those cow patty-sized cookies...HERE is a link to the recipe I used, only I halved it so I wouldn't have a ton of them, and I used vanilla chips, semi-sweet chocolate chips, and toffee chips.

Barnaby has been working out in the garage the past couple of days building a new poker table. He's been to Lowe's at least 5 times. He just came in here a few minutes ago and told me he was going to Lowe's AGAIN. Good thing it's only 5 minutes away. He said he was going to ask them if he could rent a room. Hee.

If I feel like it, I may venture out and go to Michael's today for yarn. I want to make a Prayer Shawl for someone, and I need some thick, soft yarn. I also need to pop into Ulta, which is right next door, and get a new gray eye pencil. Mine mysteriously disappeared.

Barnaby, the notorious Christmas decoration hater, insisted we buy a new Christmas tree when we were at Wal-Mart Friday. I argued for about five minutes but finally gave in. He doesn't like the one we spent all day putting up and decorating on Friday. Yes, I said we. After telling me we were not putting up a Christmas tree (like he does every year), he merrily joined in when I started putting it up anyway. And then he lost his ever-lovin' mind at Wal-Mart and decided we needed a new one. Then he saw our next door neighbor putting lights on his roof, and I could see the wheels turning. He cursed him for putting up the lights and said something about keeping up with the Jones' (Joneses?). I wouldnt be surprised if he's on the roof later today. For 15 years, it's been, "Bah Humbug!" every Christmas, and now he's gone nuts on me.

Where is my husband, and what have you done with him?

Friday, November 23, 2007

Thanksgiving 2007

Thanksgiving went well. For the first time ever (as an adult) I sat on my ass and didn't do one dish after dinner. I didn't feel guilty either, which is a huge deal for me. I feel guilty about everything, warranted or not. I brought my crochet stuff and sat and visited and crocheted, and that was it.

We just finished putting up the Christmas tree. I'm a little disappointed. I think it's because the tree needs another string of lights strung around the pole that goes through the middle. It's awful dark in the middle, and it needs some light shining out from the center for the ornaments and stuff to show up better. I'll get a picture of it to share once I've done that. It also needs more large ornaments. We only have two right now. All the others are smallish. I'm liking the all purple thing though. Don't know if I'll get sick of it or not.

We're supposed to go to a Christmas tree lighting on the square in McKinney, Texas tonight. They're going to have fake snow on the whole block, and it will be decorated like a Victorian village. Sounds very Christmasy and festive, but I think we may skip out and go to Wal-Mart and to eat pizza instead. That's what Barnaby wants to do, and I think I agree.

It's supposed to be really, really, really cold tonight. It was cold yesterday too. It's the kind of cold that hurts. I like it as long as I don't have to stand outside in it. I don't even own a heavy coat. I'm sure I could layer on enough clothes to keep me warm, but I'm just not feeling it. Thanksgiving was enough socializing for me for a while.

Bye!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Satan's Eggs & More

You're getting my Thanksgiving entry early because I doubt I'll be around tomorrow to make one.
I made one of my pies (pumpkin) with a homemade crust. It was really easy, and if it turns out flakey like it's supposed to, I'll pass along the recipe sometime after Thanksgiving. Here's my pastry disk before I rolled it out.
And here's the crust after I put it in the pie plate. If anyone says anything about my pie fluting abilities, I will shoot death rays out of my eyes across the Thanksgiving table at you. And let me tell you, nothing says Thanksgiving like death rays. And then I will corner you in the kitchen when you least expect it and karate chop you in the head. But since my mad karate skilz are a little rusty, I'll probably just grab a hammer and bang your nose, and you will be hideous for the rest of your days.
This is not the pie with the crust I made. This is homemade pecan pie filling in a store-bought Mrs. Smith's crust. I put the whole pie inside my pie plate just for this picture. I thought it would look nicer than aluminum.
And because I love you, I'll tell you my secret pecan pie ingredient! There are two, actually. Instead of white corn syrup, use the new Brown Sugar Karo Syrup, and brown the butter in a frying pan before using it in the recipe. Double Yum.
In fact, from here on out, always brown your butter before using it in any recipe. It's fantastic.
Fucking Eggs! (I don't even care if you are offended by that language. This situation warrants the use of the F-Bomb!) I swear upon all that is holy, I will never make deviled eggs again. If anyone asks me, I will pull out my Mighty Sword that I got at the Mighty Sword Store, a division of Johnson & Johnson, and smite you with it.
Also, please raise your right hand and repeat after me: "I do solemnly swear that when someone mentions peeling boiled eggs, I WILL NOT give them my "secret" to boiled eggs that peel perfectly."
None of those stupid methods work, so save your Voo-Doo for curing menstral cramps or something and keep your mouth closed. If it's ever worked for you, it was a fluke. There is no secret method. It's just luck.
I know why they call them deviled eggs now. They are eggs spawned of Satan himself. I will never again be frustrated and panicky because my deviled eggs are ugly. I know this because I am never making them again. And from now on, they are called Satan's Eggs, not deviled eggs. And God said, "It shall be so."
Here are my finished Satan's Eggs. I boiled a second batch and managed to get enough that peeled okay between the two. Then I used my momma's cookie press to fill the eggs. Tomorrow half of them will get a sprinkle of paprika for those who like their Satan's Eggs dressed in red. The rest will remain naked.

This is what my kitchen looks like this very minute. I'll get in there and make it sparkling clean in a little bit. I really don't mind doing dishes at all. I like a clean kitchen.
Anybody want to guess what this is??
Why it's a big wad and a few smaller wads of dog vomit on my office carpet, of course. Miss Phoebe decided to leave her momma a little present. Quite festive for the holidays, don't you think?
Maybe later Sammi will leave me a big pile of shit under the Christmas tree!
Happy Holidays Everyone! Gobble-Gobble!

It Could Happen

I'm actually going to decorate for Christmas this year. I'm going to put up a tree and everything. I'll wait while you collect yourself and get up off the floor.

I started preparing last Christmas to decorate this Christmas. I got a white wire Christmas tree with white lights on it, and I'm decorating it in all purple! I hope it turns out as pretty as it looks in my mind. I have no idea if I bought enough decorations or too many or what. I don't even remember what I got. Most things I bought right after Christmas last year, and they've been packed away in the attic ever since. Barnaby got everything down last night. I'll either start today or tomorrow night dragging it all out.

Hopefully it won't be a giant pain in the ass, and we'll both love it, and I'll do it from now on, and the heavens will open up, and angels and, uh, stuff, will come down and sprinkle fairy dust or whatever it is they do, and our heads will glow with the gloriousness of it all, and there will be love and world peace.

What?

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Celebrity Pics & Comments

This is Madonna's daughter, Lourdes. Good Lord. (Or Good Lourdes. Ha!) You'd think Madonna would do something about those eyebrows and mustache! I don't care how old she is or isn't. That's just wrong.
I'm sorry, but Kelly Rippa does not have a "buff" or "ripped" body like this article claims. (I have the magazine and have read the article.) She has a 10-year-old's prepubescent body. She's missing some female hormone that most girls get around age 12 that turns your body into a woman's. In my opinion, in order to be "buff" or "ripped" you need to have some muscle definition. Or just some muscle, period. Having no fat does not make you buff. And while a body like this may be more desireable to some people than fat and stretch marks, it's certainly not sexy. Again, in my opinion.

Angelina has giant man hands. And why do her arms look too long? I just stood up, and my arms come to about the same place on my legs, so that's not it. Maybe it's because she looks anorexic. The rumors of her having anorexia have been in the tabloids for several months now, but I never believed them. I always just thought she was naturally thin, but not too thin. Now I'm beginning to wonder. Eww. Nice lips, though. And that daughter of theirs (the biological one) is absolutely beautiful. Have you seen her? I'll try and find a picture and post it.
Doesn't Demi look desperate and clingy in this picture? Could she get any closer to his face and stare with that stupid extra-wide grin? He looks like he wants to keep walking. He should be afraid. Or she could be just fake-grinning like that and saying to him with clenched teeth, "You better act happy, Shithead, or I'll kill you when we get home." She's a psycho either way.

Here's a picture of Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. See? Lordie, she's pretty.

And here's another beauty...not the guy, the baby!


Dannilynn Birkhead (Anna Nicole Smith's daughter) is pretty too! No, she's gorgeous, just like her momma...But she's dead now. :(

Vince Vaughn used to be so handsome and hunky. Now he's just a bloated drunk. Gross.

That's all, folks! See ya.

Hodge-Podge Entry

This is the afghan I'm working on at the moment. (The bottom one) I'm making it to use up all the scraps of yarn I had laying around taking up space. It uses ten colors, so I'll have lots of room for some new ones. It's not a particularly pretty afghan, but it's not ugly either. I have three strips finished and three more to go. I should finish it way before christmas, so it's going to end up being a present for someone who probably needs a nice warm blankie to remind them of their momma.

This is a product review I was going to do a while back, but Blogger wouldn't take my pictures that day. Don't buy any of these stupid plug-in air fresheners. They suck. All of them do, no matter what the brand. Save your money and buy a Yankee Candle or something. They're expensive and aren't worth 25 cents.

I finally bought a chair to go in front of my vanity. I found this chair yesterday at L*nens & Th*ngs. It's smaller than it looks in the pictures, and while it's not what I really wanted, it'll work fine.

If you have the choice between L*nens & Th*ngs and Bed, Bath & Beyond, shop at Bed, Bath and Beyond. The other place pissed me off yesterday for the last time with their shady business practices. Every single time I go to that store, I get fooled by one of their "sale" signs. They hang a sign for an item that's on sale, but they don't place the next to the actual item. They place it next to a similar item that is not on sale and costs much more. This sign was for slat-backed chairs, $14.99.

When I got to the counter yesterday and found out this chair was not on sale, I had words with the manager to let her know I thought it was an intentionally misleading business practice and should be stopped. She went as far as to bring me the sign to show me it wasn't the same chair. (I still couldn't tell from reading it that it wasn't my particular slat-backed chair. You had to read the barcodes and see if they matched.) I explained to her twice that the sign was placed in front of this chair, not the one that was actually on sale. It wasn't even on the same shelf as the chair that was actually on sale! She acted like she just didn't get it because it was "clearly written" on the sign. Whatever, liar. I'm never shopping there again.
This is a totally cool and beautiful book that my sister gave me for my b-day. I love it! I want to cut out all the pictures, frame them, and hang them on a wall. But I won't. Maybe.
So I wasted half the day yesterday going to jury duty. I managed to "sneak in" my crochet stuff, so I just sat there and crocheted for 3 1/2 hours. A lady that sat next to me asked me how I managed to get my crochet needle through security. She had read in the rules online that you can't bring in knitting needles. Maybe they think crochet needles (hooks, really) are safer than knitting needles. I suppose you could stab someone with a crochet needle just as easily as a knitting needle. I did kind of strategically place it so that it wouldn't easily be seen if my bag was searched. I put it in my wallet. (Oooo, I'm so sneaky and criminal!) They x-rayed my whole bag and didn't say anything. I'm sure they could clearly see the yarn. You'd think that would be a giant clue. It was the highlight of my day. How sad.
They didn't pick me to sit on the jury. Maybe they could read my mind. The defendant was on trial for assault. He looked like a little shithead in a suit. G-u-i-l-t-y!! Hee hee. I'm sure I could have been objective and judged him on the evidence presented, but usually a police background or the fact that a family member is police disqualifies you. It doesn't disqualify you, but the defense doesn't want you.

Do you know what Mr. Defense Attorney tried to sell to us? He was talking about how you shouldn't assume a defendant is guilty because he doesn't testify in his own defense. He said, "Besides, it's not his decision. It's mine. I decide whether he testifies or not. Does anybody disagree with that?"
Everybody just sat there and said nothing, so I raised my hand and said that was not true, because the defendant can testify if he wants to. It's not the defense attorney's decision. "You can recommend he not testify, but he doesn't have to take your advice. He has to choose not to testify. If I were a defendant, I certainly wouldn't want you telling me whether I could speak at my own trial or not. In the end, it's my decision."

You could tell he didn't like that one bit. He started to argue with me and then said, "Okay, you can talk if you want to," (speaking to me) and he laughed and changed the subject altogether. I'm sure he sat down and immediately crossed my name off the list of perspective jurors. Hee.
I'm off to work. Have a good one.

Oh, wait! One more thing...

C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S J I M M I E ! ! !



2007 Nascar Nextel Cup Champion

Sorry Jeff! :(

Monday, November 19, 2007

It's My Doodie

I have jury duty today. Back with a better post tomorrow unless I get picked, which is not likely. See ya.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

No Graphics, Just Words

Blogger has a hitch in its get-along and can't upload my pictures right now, so you'll just have to read this without any pictures and get over it.

I have no idea why I thought it necessary to warn you ahead of time that I was making an entry today, and for y'all to "just hang on." (See previous entry today) Like all the minions of the Internet are waiting for ME to post an entry! What? It could happen.

As much as I didn't want to, I made it to my dermatologist appointment yesterday. And I waited, and waited, and waited. And then I left in a huff without seeing him. Hmpf.

You know, it's a shame. It took me literally YEARS to finally make that appointment, and now because of his shameless tardiness and my unwillingness to sit there seemingly hours until he felt like seeing me, I still have not seen a doctor to check my bod for melanoma. Melanoma that runs rampant in my family. My mother, my aunt, and my grandfather have had melanoma, and from the looks of my skin, I probably will at some point in my life. Hopefully not yet, because if I do already have it somewhere, it's spreading to me brain as we speak, mates. And it will keep on spreading because I'm not making another appointment anytime soon.

Yes, I know I should, and my life might even depend on it, but I know myself well enough to know that this was my shot for awhile. I'm as much to blame, if not more, than that doctor is, but I was pointing out someone else's shortcomings, not mine. Whatever. Shut up.

Tonight I'm going to make turkey and dressing rollups with gravy for ten men. Barnaby is taking dinner to his monthly poker game tomorrow night. I'm also making pumpkin pie and some cranberry almond bark candy, but first we have to go to the grocery store because I don't have anything with which to make the above dinner. If I hadn't been slammed with work the past few days, I would have already done that, but alas, I have not.

All I really want to do is crochet. I've got a good start on an afghan, the pictures of which will not appear today because of Blogger's aforementioned brain fart. Maybe tomorrow.

I was trying to find a giant picture of a really gross melanoma, too, but y'all couldn't see it today anyway, so I gave up. Are you sad?

Tuesday

I'm going to make an entry! Just hang on.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

I Hate People

That's all. I just hate 'em. And that's why 90 percent of the time I don't leave the house unless I absolutely have to.

Thanks for listening.

Sincerely,

Hatey McHateful

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Titles Are Hard Sometimes

Here is the Dutch Apple Pie I made last night. I'm having it for breakfast as we speak. The breakfast of champions. Hey, it's fruit! And oatmeal!

Barnaby is at Lowe's. He's in heaven, I'm sure, just like all the other men there. He says he's working in the garage all weekend. I plan on working some, crocheting a lot, and reading the tons of crocheted afghan pattern magazines I won on eBay. If all goes as planned, I won't leave the house this weekend.

Barnaby did the grocery shopping yesterday evening. He doesn't do that very often, but I asked him to yesterday so he did. He's all mine, girls! Get away!

Random thought #1: The roses on my desk that I picked 2-3 days ago are as fresh as the first day I picked them, and they smell heavenly. I love roses.

Some day very soon I have to pick out some ceramic tile for the master bedroom and my office. I don't really want tile in those rooms, but it's the most practical thing when you have four dogs and a cat living with you. The dogs spend all day in my office with me, and the carpet gets awful dirty. And since the dumbasses that we bought this house from picked WHITE carpet, it looks bad. Okay, it's not white, but it's close. Actually, it's closer to brown now. Ha-ha. Wait. That's not funny, it's gross. There's a guy coming on Monday to give me an estimate on the labor. We're going to buy everything he needs, and he and his crew are just going to install it. I'm thinking it will be cheaper that way.

Random thought #2: I switched my mouse back over to my right hand yesterday. It's confusing the crap out of my brain. I got pretty good at left-handed mousing. In fact, I didn't even have to think about it anymore. Now I'm having to think again dammit. I hate thinking. It's hard.

I'm going to the dermatologist on Monday afternoon. I need a full-body check for any radioactive moles that are trying to take over my body, and there are a couple of red raised dots on my nose I want him to get rid of. I don't know what they are, but they appeared about 10 years ago and I want them gone. He'll probably have to laser them off or put some chemical on them that will burn my skin off, and I'll have scabs on my nose for a month. Eww, gross. It's a sacrifice I must make though.

Do you think I'll have to get totally naked while he looks me over with a magnifying glass? I don't wanna! I don't know how else he would do it though, do you? Ack, how humiliating. He should have to get naked too. No, wait. That would be weird.

Okay, I have to stop thinking about it or I won't go.

I have to get started on my weekend. Y'all have a good one. I'm going to.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Slacker Dutch Apple Pie

I should be working, but I've been a slacker the past few months. I cannot concentrate on work for more than 20 minutes or so. I put work off like nobody's business and just fiddle-fart around all day. It's not like I'm napping or watching TV. I'm doing things that need to be done, and everything takes me forever nowadays.

Earlier today I got distracted when I went outside to supervise the dogs' pooing and scoop it up, and I ended up cleaning the back porch like the Inspector General was coming over or something. I even washed down the furniture and cleaned out the garden. It sure looks good, but I'd rather have my work done.

Whatever.

I'm going to make Dutch apple pie as soon as I can get to the store and do the grocery shopping. I've used a certain recipe for years and have never found one better. I think you'll agree if you try it.

Dutch Apple Pie

Crumb Crust:
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup packed brown sugar
3/4 cup butter or margarine, melted
1/2 cup quick-cooking oats

Filling:
2/3 cup sugar
3 Tbsps cornstarch
1 1/4 cups water
3 cups diced, peeled Granny Smith apples
1 tsp vanilla extract

Combine the first four ingredients; set aside 1 cup for topping. Press remaining crumb mixture into an ungreased 9-inch pie plate; set aside.

For the filling, combine sugar, cornstarch, and water in a saucepan until smooth; bring to a boil. Cook and stir for 1 minute or until thickened. Remove from the heat; stir in apples and vanilla. Pour into crust; top with reserved crumb mixture. Bake at 350 degrees for 40-45 minutes or until crust is golden brown. Makes 6-8 servings.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Test Entry

Testing Blackberry blog entry.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Smell the Roses

I cut these roses and brought them in the other day. I should really do that more often. I get much more enjoyment from them when they're inside where I can see them all day. These are getting a little wilted, but they're still pretty. The roses stay pretty longer this time of year since they don't get seared and scorched by the sun and 300-degree temperature like in the summer. They last a whole day in the summer before they start to turn brown and then burst into flames.

Sammi is all better now. No more vomit. I've been going outside with the dogs every time they go out so I can scoop up the poo immediately and keep Sammi from making a meal of it. I'm still going to get a muzzle for her to wear outside when it's raining or too cold or I'm just too lazy.

I just saw the mailman walk up to our front porch and leave a box. I'm so excited because it's my box of crochet magazines from eBay, I just know it!

I impressed the hell out of myself last night. We were looking for a computer software CD and weren't sure where it was. Barnaby was tearing apart the closet in the guest bedroom, and I was in my office closet. I pulled down a large Rubbermaid storage container that I knew had old files in it, and was prepared to start going through it looking for the CD. When I pulled it down, it had a laminated piece of paper stuck to it. On the paper neatly typed it said, "This box contains: blah, blah, blah, and blah, blah, blah, and blah, blah, blah," and I knew immediately that the CD wasn't going to be in there. I had forgotten that I had done that when I packed the box a couple of years ago.

Upon seeing the box, I laughed and this exchanged ensued:

Me: "Barnaby, your wife is a genius! Come see!"

Barnaby sees the box and looks at me incredulously. "Oh my God! You are so ANAL!"

Maybe so, but it sure was nice that I didn't have to dig through that box of files one by one.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

It Stinks in Here

Aren't the little ones cute?

It's hard to believe something so horrendously nasty-smelling could come out of that little black and white one, but it did. And it did some more...and more...and more...all freakin' day!

From 7:30 this morning until about two hours ago, Sammi vomited. And it wasn't just vomit since she loves to eat the other dogs' poo-poo. It's vomited dog shit. It smells so bad in here it's making me nauseous. Isn't that gross??

I've cleaned it up off the floors, carpet, beds, rugs, and dog beds. She has thrown up everywhere! I thought I had all the rooms closed off, but she somehow managed to get into the spare bedroom and vomit shit on the bed. Ack! I've been doing laundry all day.

Yes, Pam, it's all about you. You poor thing.

I haven't yelled at Sammi because I know she's sick and can't help it, but I'm not a happy camper. I'm going to take her to the vet here in a little bit for a shot of something to calm her stomach, and then she's going in the dog kennel/cage thingy until tomorrow.

I can't figure out why it still stinks in here. I've laundered and cleaned everything and used carpet cleaner, white vinegar, 409, and carpet powder, but it still stinks. I think it's permeated my sinuses. Bleh.

Who wants to come over for dinner? Nobody? Heh.

So I had to console myself by going to Big Lots for more Sugar Daddy suckers. I was really disappointed when they didn't have any and I had to go to the Dollar Store. But when I got to the Dollar Store, they had these GIANT Halloween bags of them for 75% off! Am I lucky or what? I have enough Sugar Daddies to last me awhile now.

I have to go clean something. It stinks.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Finished Projects & a Cheese Ball

I finished this afghan over the weekend. It's been sitting for a couple of years just waiting for the trim. Done!
This is another one I start a few years ago. It needs a few more rows and trim, and it will be finished too. That's my goal for the week. Then I'm going to finish the one I've started for Barnaby. There are just so many I want to do, it's hard not to start the next one before one is finished.

I'm way happier than I should be about winning a lot of 44 afghan pattern books on eBay Friday. Forty-four! I can't wait to get them and start looking. I'll probably have ten more afghans started by the end of the week. Ha.

My Comcast email quit working on Saturday. If you've sent me email, I won't be able to answer you for a day or so. I spent over 30 minutes on the phone with Time Warner this morning trying to get it remedied, but no one knows what to do. The idiots are stumped and probably having a pow-wow as I type this.

This is not an interesting story, so skip it if you're in a hurry.

You see, once upon a time several MONTHS ago, I called them because I knew everone who had a Comcast email address was having to change to a Time Warner address because they bought-out Comcast. When I inquired about getting it changed, I was told by one of the village idiots that it wasn't necessary. Uh-huh, yeah, well, not so much.

I was told someone would call me back by 3:00 today once they've figured out what to do. I don't even work there and know nothing about such things, but I have a great idea! Give me a new Time Warner email address! Ya think? GAH! Idiots, I tell you. They are everywhere.

And, yes, I'm aware that nobody is going to call me back. Don't be ridiculous.

The End

I have a recipe for you. I took this to a party on Saturday. (Yes, I went to a party. The horror!)It sounds weird, but it's yummy.

Dried Fruit Cheese Ball

8 oz shredded sharp cheddar
8 oz softened cream cheese
2 Tbsp honey
6 oz mixed dried fruit (or dates), chopped
Finely chopped pecans

Mix cheese, cream cheese, and honey until well combined. Add the chopped fruit. Shape into a ball and roll in pecans. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate several hours before serving. Serve with Wheat Thins or your favorite cracker.

I used a bag of mixed dried berries, but the original recipe said you could use dates if you want. You'll find either of those in the isle with the raisins and Craisins in your grocery store.

It's a pain in the ass to chop that fruit, but it's worth it. An electric chopper or food processor won't work. I tried it. You'll need to do it by hand with a giant knife, and the fruit will be all sticky and gross, and it will take forever and a day, and you'll curse me for making you try this recipe, but you will love me in the end.

Sugar Daddies are still the bomb. I need to run to Big Lots and get more.