Friday, August 31, 2007
Nice recovery, huh?
I'm going over to my mom & dad's for a visit. Later.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
We wanted to let you know that we are going to be installing a floodlight on the side of our house next to yours. Please let us know if this light causes you any problems or is bothersome. It’s a motion sensor light, so it will go on and off at different times when it’s dark outside.
My husband found a kitchen knife on that side of our house lying in the grass about three feet from the corner of our garage the day after he returned from an out-of-town trip. We noticed that you had trimmed the bushes on that side of your house during that time. Do you know if that knife belongs to you? I’m hoping it was innocently left there by a kid or something, but it made both of us a little nervous. That’s why we’re installing a motion light. I have the knife if you want to look at it to see if you recognize it.
Again, let us know if that light bothers y’all and we’ll adjust it.
Scotty & Barnaby McScotterson
9999 VanScottaldson Lane
Phone number: 000-000-000
If your next-door neighbor left a letter on your front door like the one above I left my neighbor yesterday, wouldn't you respond in some manner? Yeah, well, she didn't. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I think that's rude as hell. She might as well flip me the finger. This is the weirdest neighborhood I've ever lived in. Nobody talks to anybody, ever.
I think I'll have that electrician set up that flood light to shine directly into her bedroom window. I bet she talks to me then! Stupid hag.
Her boyfriend is probably the one peeking in my windows and plotting to murder me. He probably found the letter first and threw it away so she wouldn't know! Or maybe SHE'S the one who wants to kill me. Maybe she's a lesbian serial killer and has fallen in love with me from afar after peeking in my windows. If she can't have me, nobody will! Ahhhh!
See how my mind works? Trust nobody -- that's my motto.
So did y'all watch Crazy Sexy Cancer last night? I did. It was okay, but it was a little annoying because of the way it was filmed. They tried to be a little too artsy-fartsy for me. They only succeeded in being annoying as hell. I got used to it after awhile and got into the story. I'd give it a less than mediocre 2 stars out of 5. The story wasn't very substantive, there wasn't much drama, and not a whole lot happened. She didn't even get chemo or go bald or have surgery or anything. I didn't laugh or cry or tear-up at all. That poor girl. Her cancer was boring! Ha. That's funny to me for some reason. I'd be mad if I had boring cancer. If I ever have to have it, it had better be interesting and entertaining, damn it! If it's not, nobody make a 2-hour movie about it, please.
And don't go get all offended and get your panties in a wad if you're reading this and have cancer. "How dare she! That's a terrible thing to say about cancer! May God strike her with horrible giant cancer tumors! Exciting ones!"
That is all.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
I sure have talked to some nice people the last few days. The lady at Lowe's that checked me out was really nice and helped me go get the correct bulbs for the floodlight. I had bought normal 150 watt bulbs, and she said that was wrong kind and helped me out. She laughed and said, "You'd get home with those and your husband would be like, 'What the heck is this?'" Little does she know, I'm keeping it a secret that I even bought the light, much less hired an electrician to install it. I asked him to do it, but he just groaned and said something about how he'd fry himself trying to hook up a light, blah, blah, blah. He's no electrician, blah, blah, blah. Fine. I'll take care of it my own damn self.
And then my mind got to going, and I thought to myself maybe he hired someone to kill me while he was gone! Ahhh! So that's why he doesn't want a light over there! He has a girlfriend and wants to divorce me but doesn't want me to take all his retirement money so -- and then I stopped myself because I realized that was just not true. I watch too many shows like Forensic Files and 48 Hours. I love those shows.
Speaking of TV shows, there's a new show coming on Lifetime October 12th. It's a psychic competition. I'm not sure what it's all about, but it sounds good to me. They show all these psychics being given the task of telling where a person is located in this big building just by listening to his heartbeat. I like another psychic show that's on that channel with a psychic named Lisa Williams. She's the same kind of psychic as John Edwards that speaks to the dead -- or dead people speak to her or something. And then there's Psychic Detectives and Haunting Evidence on Court TV that I also watch.
No wonder I'm a freak.
AND tonight there's a show coming on TLC called "Crazy, Sexy Cancer," which is a weird title, but I'm gonna give it a shot. I like reality cancer shows. Did y'all ever watch that reality show called Houston Medical where they followed doctors around, and then that one female doctor they were following found out she had a brain tumor? Dang, it was sad. When the show ended, she was still getting treatment, and then I found out on the Internet not long after that she had died. Her name was Marnie Rose.
My rosemary out front looks sick. I'll be pissed if it dies. I planted it in the spring, and it's grown at least 4 times its original size. I was looking forward to seeing it bloom tiny little blueish-purple flowers next spring. I'm going to hose it down every day and try and keep it cool. It's just too dang hot out there, I think, even though it's not in full sun most of the day. One of the other rosemary plants I bought at the same time died two weeks ago. I have no idea why. I've never been able to keep anything alive that I've tried to grow in a planter. Whatever it is always dies. Hmpf.
It getting really overcast outside right now. Hopefully it'll rain a nice, steady rain.
I'm finished blabbing. See ya.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
This is where Barnaby found the knife that was meant to slash my throat. I superimposed Jason for effect. Pretty cool, huh? Pretty scary!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
After Barnaby got home, he was mowing the grass the next morning and found a butcher knife lying in the grass on the side of the house next to the garage. It was lying about five inches from the side of the house. I wish I had taken a picture of it before he threw it away. Maybe I’ll go dig around and see if I can find it. He came in and showed it to me and told me where he found it, and I said, “I don’t like that!” And he said, “I don’t either.”
I have to confess, I did feel nervous at night while he was gone and slept with my gun under my pillow. I may have stacked some TV trays in front of the front doors, too, so it would make a bunch of noise if someone opened the front door. What? It made me feel better. Don’t look at me that way. You know you’ve done stuff like that before.
Okay, maybe not.
Ice Cream Sandwich Dessert
19 Ice cream sandwiches
12-oz Cool Whip, thawed
12-oz hot fudge sauce (not heated)
1 cup chopped peanuts
Unwrapped sandwiches and layer in the bottom of an ungreased 9 x 13 dish. Spread half of the Cool Whip over the top. Drop teaspoonsful of fudge sauce over the Cool Whip layer, using all of the sauce. Sprinkle with half of the chopped peanuts. Place another layer of sandwiches on top, top with the rest of the Cool Whip and sprinkle the remaining peanuts. Cover with 2 layers of plastic wrap and freeze until serving. (At least four hours) You can drizzle each serving with Hershey's chocolate syrup if you like. I've also seen this recipe using caramel or butterscotch sauce instead of fudge sauce.
Note: I used a smaller casserole dish, 12 sandwiches, the same amount of Cool Whip and fudge sauce, and 1/2 cup chopped peanuts. I used a deep-dish glass lazagna casserole dish.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
I’ll post pictures of the dessert later because I want to get pictures of it when it’s cut. I’ll also post the super-easy recipe when I post the pictures tonight or tomorrow.
I just stepped outside for a few minutes and it's only 90 degrees out there at 3:00 p.m. It's downright chilly out there! Okay, maybe not, but it's highly unusual for August in Texas.
I'm off to groom myself so I don't look like a skank when Barnaby gets home. Buh-bye.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Sorry the description is so vague, but that's all I've got.
I've looked all over the Internet and can't find anything like it. All kinds of recipes come up with vanilla wafers or chocolate wafers, and I even found one with crushed up sugar wafers in it. SOMEBODY has got to have this recipe. Help me find it. It's driving me crazy!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Salsa Ingredients (The salt is very important, people. Dont' leave it out!)
Cut up the tomatoes and onion. Notice the small amount of onion. This is about a 1-inch wedge of a medium onion. If you put too much onion, your salsa will be bitter and overpowered by onion.
Add the garlic, cilantro, salt, seeded jalapeno, and juice from 1/2 a lime. Close the lid and crank that baby around and around until it's the consistency you like it.
Guess what I'm making next? That's right...deviled eggs!
I guarantee you this is what your eggs will look like every time you make deviled eggs to take somewhere. They will not peel, you will get totally pissed off, and you'll have to clean up egg from your kitchen floor and walls when you throw a hissy-fit and smash them and throw them. Aggressive much?
These are my new glasses. I picked them up today. The color didn't come out so great in this picture, but they're a purplish, rosie, pinkish, weird color. Love them.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
"We received your notification for coverage of Laparoscopy, surgical, gastric restrictive procedure; removal for Scotty McScotterson. (Okay, the name part is not verbatim.) This health care service is available for benefits under the terms of your health benefit plan. You have met the notification requirement and no further action is needed at this time. You will need to notify us again if additional services are necessary."
First of all, the punctuation in the first sentence makes no sense to me. Since a "gastric restrictive procedure" can't be removed, I assumed they were talking about the new procedure he's going to do. If they meant removal of the gastric band, that's what it should have said. YOU CANNOT REMOVE A PROCEDURE. You can REVERSE a procedure, I suppose, but that's not what it says.
Long story short, the nurse said the doctor never wrote a letter that she's aware of, and she just turned in a request for removing the Lap Band, period. She didn't mention ANYTHING ELSE...not the hernia repair and not the gastric vertical sleeve. She says she knows nothing about anything that the doctor and I discussed. She took back the September 20th surgery date and said she'd call me back after she "talks to the doctor and checks on all of this." She also said this was THE FIRST ONE SHE'S EVER DONE as far as dealing with the insurance. OH JOY.
I would like to get mad and stomp and have a cow and a hissy fit, but for some reason I can't muster up the energy. I'm closer to crying and being depressed than I am to getting mad, but I can't really get the energy up for that either. All I have to say is I should have known. And I guess maybe I did on a certain level, because I never posted anything about it until now. People just don't care about other people that much anymore to go out of their way to help. I guess what I'm feeling is resignation.
I don't expect much to change even after she "checks on all of this." And unless I discover a big box of money on the doorstep, this surgery ain't happening anytime soon, if ever. I should probably go ahead with the removal of the Lap Band, but I'm not gonna. I'll die of a GIANT stomach infection first. I'm aware that is not a reasonable or intelligent decision.
No comments, please. I won't read them.
I may not have the energy to be mad, sad, or throw a hissy fit, but I can have a pissy attitude.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Friday, August 10, 2007
She pulled the raccoon off the child, told the children to run home and strangled the animal, authorities said.
"She had the presence of mind to choke it," animal control officer April Leiler told the Record-Journal of Meriden. "She is one tough lady."
The carcass was taken to a state laboratory in Hartford where it tested positive for rabies. The woman and the boy are undergoing rabies treatment. Their names have not been released.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
You scored 22.2%
You scored 11.1%
You scored 0%
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
This was your typical fast-paced Friday night in mid-summer and hotter than hell for the night shift at least. That was another reason I liked working that shift…no sun and much cooler than the 100+ temperatures on day or evening shift.
Three of us answered a burglar alarm call at a small jewelry shop in a strip mall. As usual, one checked out the front and everyone else went around to the back entrance. As we pulled around to the back, headlights dark, we could see that the back door was slightly ajar.
Gary and I got out of our squad cars, drew our flashlights and weapons, and prepared to enter and search the business. Mike stayed out front in case whoever was in there decided to flee via the front door. More often than not, we went through our well-coordinated routine of searching the business, and the burglars were gone before we ever arrived. This time was the exception to that norm. Just inside the door in the dark, we could hear conversation.
“Police! Come out with your hands in the air!”
The door slowly swung open and there they were – the cripple and the hair-lip. I kid you not. Gary and I stared in silence, taking in the sight of the unlikely pair. I don’t remember much of the conversation now, but I do remember one part in great detail.
Gary: “Why are you in a wheelchair?”
Cripple: “I was in a motorcycle accident.”
Gary: “And you? How’d you get your lip all fucked up?”
Hair-Lip: “I was born that way.”
By this time Mike had come around to the back and joined us and was listening, as was I, to Gary’s interrogation of the two. When Gary asked that question of the hair-lip, Mike and I immediately locked eyes. I have no idea where we got the strength not to bust out laughing.
I don’t know how to explain to you what was so funny. I think it was a combination of the oh-so-casual way that Gary asked such a shockingly callused question and the way the guy matter-of-factly answered the question without batting an eye with that speech impediment that being hair-lipped causes.
The only other things I remember is that the pair went to jail (the only person in a wheelchair I ever arrested), and we often talked and laughed about that call. We laughed about that call so hard we cried many times.
Oh, and it was kind of embarrassing walking into the jail with a handcuffed cripple in a wheelchair and hair-lip in tow.
I hope you enjoyed this premier edition of Scotty's Police Stories. They are all true stories as experienced by Yours Truly. There will be more stories in the weeks and months to come.
I really don't have anything to say today. I can't think of a thing to bitch about or talk about or whine about. I guess that's a good thing.
Here's something out of nowhere: Corn on the cob is really good right now. Go buy some and eat it with lots-o-butter and salt. And use REAL BUTTER...Gasp! It won't kill you just this once, and it tastes so much better than anything else. And don't be a cheap-ass. Buy Land-o-Lakes salted butter! And while you're at it, look at the Indian woman on the box cover using THESE instructions, it looks like you can see her boobs, but it's an illuuuuusion. Hee. Okay, that's just immature and dumb.
I told you I had nothing to say. Now leave me alone.
Monday, August 06, 2007
I guess I have a thing for wipes lately, because I also love, love, love the Huggies brand cucumber and aloe baby wipes. They smell yummy. I use them every day just for a fresher-upper. (Cuz it's hotter than Hades around here, and I sweat like a pig, okay?) I don't use up near as many wash cloths now. The Huggies wipes are $2.89 for 72 wipes at Target.
Tan - done
It’s been a busy day already. And may I just say that printer ink is RIDICULOUSLY expensive? What a rip-off! I just paid $83 for two black ink cartridges and one each of yellow, blue, and red. Thank you.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
I saw a girl at the tanning salon about a week ago that had blue frames. You wouldn't think that blue frames would look good, but these look fantastic on her. She had blonde hair, though, and since mine is now very dark brown, I'm not sure what they'll look like.
I immediately came home and searched for them on the innernets, but alas, they are discontinued. Wouldn't ya know it? They might look like shit on me anyway, but I'd like to at least try them. They are Prada brand frames and come in four colors, but they quit making the blue ones. I'm going to keep searching. Surely somebody has a pair of those frames in inventory, wouldn't you think?
Here's what they look like:
Model Name: Prada PR 01FV
We did end up taking my dad to the casino on Saturday. He had so much fun and won $1000 on the Wheel of Fortune game. I was so glad he won and had a good time.
This is the Secret Squirrel picture that Barnaby took with his cell phone. He managed it without getting arrested or thrown out. (You're not supposed to take pictures in a casino for some weird security reason.) This picture was taken right after he won his first $500.
Still no word from the doctor about my surgery. I swear, I'm calling them today...maybe.
And today is Barnaby's birthday. Happy b-day, Sugar! Dang, is it August already? I've got to get some work done. I've got birthday stuff to do this afternoon.