Thursday, August 23, 2007

I Don't Like That

I think somebody was gonna kill me, y’all.

After Barnaby got home, he was mowing the grass the next morning and found a butcher knife lying in the grass on the side of the house next to the garage. It was lying about five inches from the side of the house. I wish I had taken a picture of it before he threw it away. Maybe I’ll go dig around and see if I can find it. He came in and showed it to me and told me where he found it, and I said, “I don’t like that!” And he said, “I don’t either.”

I have to confess, I did feel nervous at night while he was gone and slept with my gun under my pillow. I may have stacked some TV trays in front of the front doors, too, so it would make a bunch of noise if someone opened the front door. What? It made me feel better. Don’t look at me that way. You know you’ve done stuff like that before.

I didn't want to dig in the trash, so I took a picture of one of my knives. It's exactly the same size and type, except this one looks newer. That's a 6-inch ruler.

Whoever you were, you are an idiot to bring a knife to a gun fight. My .357 magnum will blow your head off way before you ever see me, Shithead. I just might have some a switchblade and Ninja throwing stars too. I'm a badass! Hi-yaahh!

Okay, maybe not.


  1. Anonymous3:45 PM

    Oh my God, what if it was.........
    HOOKARM??????????? He had the knife in his good hand. Hook and slice, hook and slice. BP

  2. Okay, BP has me crying I'm laughing so hard! What I came here to say was Shoot first, ask questions later. That would totally freak me out to find a knife next to my house! I think you need a bigger dog, too.


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